What I just did.

OK, It's time I start blogging again, because who else do I tell this to at 11:21 pm the night before Christmas Eve?  And who really cares?  Well, you do, if you keep reading.  Here's what I just did:  On a routine night reconnoissance into my boy's room I discovered that one son (who shall remained unnamed) was sleeping very soundly on urine-soaked sheets, from the night before.  Did I wake him up to have him change, and put new clean sheets on the mattress?  Noooo, I just rolled his heavy body to the side of his smelly bed, put a waterproof pad over most of the wet spot, then rolled him back onto the pad and left him there sleeping like a rock.  A big, heavy, wet rock.  That's what I just did.  And now you know.

How to Throw a Balloon Birthday Party

So this year it's balloons.  The Free One, who just turned six, has a history of choosing fun and unique birthday themes:  Purple Monkeys, Medieval, Angry Birds...  This year he chose balloons.  How hard can it be to throw a balloon birthday party?  Well, it was pretty easy to come up with the ideas, but I had so many that it turned into a lot of work.  But as you can see from the pictures; it was all worth it!

First, a balloon party has to have balloons.  Lots of balloons!

A balloon themed cake!  This picture of my son, that I printed out in three different sizes, inspired the orange and blue colors of the balloons.   First, I cut out the pictures with a small box cutter, then, my dad colored the scene on a white piece of paper wrapped over a wooden board.  My mom helped me to arrange the ribbons from the cupcakes to the pictures to make it look like he was holding the balloons.  The idea for this cupcake arrangement is pretty straightforward, but beware, it's harder to put together than it looks.  Have the scotch tape and glue sticks ready.

Decorations:  This balloon swag can be made by sticking a paper clip through the ends of a group of four balloons.  Once all the bunches are made just thread a string through all the paper clips.  Again, it's a simple idea, but it took 5 people to make it happen.  Hint:  don't try this with out a balloon pump; we had four pumps.  By the way, if you fill the balloons with helium, you get an arch!  I just used air, because air is free. 

Food:  All the food was round, like a balloon.  Round crackers, baby bell cheese, salami, pepperoni, round slices of ham, baby tomatoes, olives, grapes, oranges rounds, cucumber and carrot coins.

 Games:  Parachutes are always fun for kids.  How much more with water balloons!

 Game 2:  One person holds a large cup while their partners tries to fill the cup with water using a water squirter.  The first one to fill the cup wins.  Then they switch sides to make it fair.  

Game 3:  Good ol' fashioned water fight!  I bought 400 water balloons and we filled them all, minus the hand full of factory duds.  So, ya, there was a lot of ammunition.

Game 4 (not pictured):  Water balloon fragment pick up.  Also known as the clean up game.  The people who picked up the most balloon fragments won one of the water sticks.

Slip and slide.  Here is the birthday boy taking the first turn down the slide.

 We ended the balloon party with a literal bang when we popped all of the balloons (There were 150 of them).  It was explosive end to a fabulous balloon birthday bash!

Waiting For Supermom

Supermoms must be real!

I’ve seen them on pinterest and on their beautifully encoded blogs with givaways and perfectly lit photos of happy children and immaculately decorated homes.  I’ve see them with their capes and thriving careers, designer diaper bags, and 100% organic meal plans.  And they do all of this perfectly, all the time without fail!

But here’s the thing, I’ve never met one in person.  So, I’m beginning to wonder if they really do exist, because all the moms I’ve gotten to know get impatient and yell, have kids who pick their noses, have laundry piled on their living room couches, and serve hot dogs and Cheetos... every now and then.  

So, I've finally decided to stop waiting for Supermom.  More importantly, I’ve decided to stop wanting to be Supermom.  

Instead, I want to be supernatural mom!  I want to receive my super powers from someone who is truly out of this world:  God.  

I know supernatural moms exist because many of my friends in real life are supernatural moms, and they remind me of some of the Supernatural moms from the Bible (who we know were far from perfect.)

Like Eve, they are able to endure the pain of child-loss.

Like Sarah, they have faith that God can do the impossible.  

Like Hagar, God gives them the ability to see new resources to help their children when all of their other resources have “dried up”.  

Like Jochobed they are willing to do anything to protect their children from harm.  

Like Deborah, they live righteously in the midst of an evil and sinful culture when everyone else does what is right in their own eyes.  

Like Hannah, they entrust their children wholeheartedly into God’s hands to be raised up for His service.  

And like Mary, they treasure “all these things,” pondering them in their hearts.  

These moms are the real deal!  They are the first to admit that they are weak, but God’s power is perfected in their weaknesses, because they cling to the fact that His grace is sufficient for them!

So happy mothers day to supernatural moms everywhere who have found access to a supernatural source of mom-ability through Jesus Christ.  

I pray that we will have faith in the faithful One who has the ability to make us able.

And most of all, happy Mother’s Day to my own mom, who raised my two sisters and me in a military family, working full time to help support us and give us a bright future, who taught me to pray and sing praises to God, who never missed any of my events, who would do anything for her children, who taught me the value of hard work, faithfulness, and unconditional love, and who is hands-down one of the best grandmas in the world.  I love you mom!

Happy Mother’s Day!

The Selfishness Checklist: A Tool for Pursuing Peace in Relationships

"That's my rope!  Give it back!"  

How frighteningly territorial little boys can get over pieces of fiber and wood.  Sticks, rope, cardboard boxes, these are all commodities worth warring over when you're a five or eight year old with a Y chromosome.  

My oldest son was tying a small length of rope onto a long piece of bamboo which was to be the fishing pole that would supply his only source of food while he drifted on a small boat lost at sea.  His survival tactics were stopped short when his little brother demanded his rope back.  

Being that he would most certainly die of starvation without his fishing pole, I suggested that he let him play with it for 20 minutes.  Well, 20 minutes was too long for the rope owner and what ensued was a lot of crying, yelling, tugging, anger from both of them, and most of all selfishness!  

Finally, I had had enough.  I brought them both in to sit on the red bench.  Now, when they are called to sit on the red bench they know what is coming next.  I pulled out the big book with all the colorful tabs in it:  my Child Training Bible.  Without any further explanation I read: 

"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Respect what is right in the sight of all men.  If possible so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Romans 12:17,18).  

"Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.  Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:30,31).  

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.  Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others" (Philippians 2:3,4).   

Then I ask, "When you demanded your rope back, were you thinking about what your brother wanted or only about what you wanted?"  The answer was obvious.  

I look at the older one, "When you refused to give the rope back were you thinking only about what you wanted, or about what your brother wanted?"  Again, it was obvious, they were both only thinking about themselves.  

I prayed that they would start to think more about what others want instead of only themselves.  I thanked Jesus for His unselfish sacrifice on the cross and prayed that we would be more like Him.  Then I told them to sit on the red bench until they thought of a solution that would make both of them happy.  In the end, they worked out a deal that they both were very happy with and they ran back outside to play with smiles on their faces.  (The deal must have involved a stick because I overheard one of them say, "Here's your happy stick!")

Solutions can be found when we stop thinking only about what we want, and start thinking about what others want.  We must each be willing to give up something in order to gain something far greater:  peace! 

Are you "at war" with someone in your life?  Do you find yourself getting into arguments or fights with people?  Or maybe you just need a tool to help your children overcome adversity with their siblings or friends.  The following selfishness checklist can help uncover selfish motives and actions, and reveal areas where peace can be pursued.

The Selfishness Checklist:  

☑ I am not repaying evil for evil.

☑ I am willing to share or give what is mine.

☑ I am not demanding what is mine.

☑ I am treating others the way I want to be treated.

☑ I am regarding other people as more important than myself.

☑ I am considering what other people want, not just what I want.

☑ I am doing all that I can to try to make peace.

Happy Valentine's Day! Oh, and I swallowed A fly.

My boys have finally finished their grandma's Valentine's Day present just in time for Mother's Day!  Isn't it the thought that counts?  Well, I've been thinking about it for a long time, so it must REALLY count!

I chose this craft for the the boys because I thought it would be good for fine motor skill practice, intro. to sewing/stitching, hand eye coordination, etc...  Well, I ended up doing about 75% of the stitching on it, but the boys did put their heart into the parts they did.  Now I figure if we start on our Christmas presents soon, then they might be ready in time for New Year's Day.

Who remembers latch hooking?  Ahhh yeah!  That's what coming up next!  I wonder who will be the lucky person to get that present?

In other news:  Since running a full marathon in 2010 I have completely lost motivation to go more that 3 miles on a regular basis, but I really want to do a half marathon later this year which will require a few more miles under my feet.  So tonight I committed to running five miles!  And just to make it official that I'm pounding the pavement again, I swallowed a bug at around the four and three quarters mile mark!  It gave me just enough energy to make it that last quarter mile.

Yesterday Was A Good Day.

The Free One sawing his brother in half.  Just one of the "normal" things we do around here.

Yesterday was a good one.  Every bit of school was completed, the black-and-white checker board pantry floor got scrubbed, The Free One practiced sawing The Anchor in half, and The Anchor caught a pet ant and fed it raisins and Swedish Fish.  In the afternoon I fell asleep on a fleece Santa Claus blanket reading -something I haven't done in a long time.  My husband, who had left for work not too long after I had gone to bed the night before, was back home and sound asleep in our bed.  

The house was silent except for the occasional scraping and shuffling of tiny, primary-colored plastic building blocks being sifted through in their bin in hopes of finding a lost head or arm. 

It was 4:30 when I woke up, too late for a snack, too early for dinner, but I was hungry anyway so I put down the Kindle that lay upside down and sideways on my chest and headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner.  Within minutes, four filets of tilapia were seasoned and ready to cook.  The sizzling sound of frying fish turned our quiet afternoon into a night full of life.  Half built Lego creations were left strewn about the carpet when little feet came scampering into the kitchen to see what was cooking.   Little hands happily began moving dishes, cups, and napkins to the table.  

Soon after, my sleepy husband woke from his nap, hungry like a bear coming out of hibernation.  The light switches got flipped on as the sun ducked below the trees.  Day set and night dawned in our house bringing with it a flurry of nighttime activities which included:  failing at table manners, after dinner chores, wrapping eggs in foam and plaster for the next day's Science experiment, and an episode of "Cake Boss" during our family fold out session.  

A day in which we get to do all our "normal" things is, in my opinion, a good one!  What kinds of normal things does your family do in a day?

Advertisement for Mom's Coffee Shop

Mom's Coffee Shop is open on dark, rainy, cloudy afternoons when school is done and we've not much else to do, and something hot and yummy sounds really good and comforting, and besides we need some cheering up because it's been so dark, rainy, and cloudy just about everyday for the past couple of months.  So come on down and buy yourself some Hot Cocoa or Favorite Tea (a.k.a. Oregon Chai), and some cookies.  Whipped cream is extra, of course, but it's O.K. because you don't even need your own money.  Just grab some from the glass jar and make sure you count it out exactly because mom don't give no change.  If you're an adult you get a home made mocha free of charge!  There are instrumental hymns playing from an i-pad in the background while candles flicker out a serene, calming atmosphere.  Five and Eight year old boys love it at Mom's Coffee Shop, but I suspect the one who loves Mom's Coffee Shop the most is, well... Mom!  

My Wild Things

I have to admit, I never read Where The Wild Things Are as a child.  I think it was read to me once in school, but I never touched the book after that.  They scared me, those wild things.  They had terrible teeth, and terrible claws, and terrible eyes.  They were wild!  

I was a little girl, and I didn’t understand about wild things.  Now I'm a mom of two little boys.  Sometimes little boys are wild things. 

I appreciate this book now more than I ever did, because I see myself in that mom in the book who sends her wild thing off to bed without supper, then sneaks in a some hot food later.  I see my little boys in Max, who makes mischief of one kind and another.  

I've never sent my kids to bed without supper, but I have had to tame the wild in my boys at times, and just like the mom in the book who brought her boy back from where the wild things are, I always let my wild things know that they are accepted and cared for no matter how wild they are.  I believe that a mother's unconditional love (and a hot supper) can tame the wild in a child like no other thing.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

We recently did a Literature and Comprehension unit on Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.  Visit this post to see what we did and to get some lesson ideas.

Why Winnie The Pooh Makes Me Cry

Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing. 

From The House at Pooh Corner

Floating on a balloon trying to steal honey from the bees

 Every time I read Winnie The Pooh to my boys, I get all choked up and can barely finish the book.  "Why, oh why, does Winnie the Pooh make me cry?"  I ask myself, which is a silly thing to do, because I already know the answer.

It's because I see my own little boys in this enchanted place with their animals.  Big teddy, Baby Bear, Stripe, Gallop, Penguin, Bumble Bee, (read about his birthday) and so many others.  We have shared so many adventures with my boy's animal friends.  They each have personalities of their own.

Stripe is a fearless tiger who is constantly getting lost in the jungle where he likes to explore.  We don't see him for months at a time but always, in Stripe-like fashion, he finds his way out of the trees back into civilization.  The stories he can tell!  

Gallop and Stripe on their way to New York City

Gallop the horse is a bit clumsy, but so lovable.  He is a faithful companion who never complains about the awkward predicaments he is so often forced into.

Boopsie dressed in a Sari on his trip to India.

Penguin, Polar Bear, and Boopsie are apparently at odds with each another.  I learned just the other day that they keep The Anchor up at night with all their arguing and fighting.  Boopsie was my teddy bear when I was a baby, so at over 35 years old (which is old in stuffed animal years) he is by far the wisest animal in the bunch.  I would think he would be able to settle any disputes that come up, but then, perhaps his age has turned him into a stubborn, senile, old bear and he may, in fact, be the source of all the trouble.  Perhaps an intervention, and a lesson on respecting the elderly is in order.

The Free One sleeping with Baby Bear

Baby Bear and Jack, who are also very old, are consistently in good moods and are always ready for a story.

And poor Big Teddy, he just gets sat on, jumped on, dragged around, and I'm afraid to say, is sorely abused.  We don't really know what his story is because you see, he never talks.  He just lies there flat on the ground because his fluffy body is not strong enough to support his enormous head.

What is going to happen when my little boys are all grown up and leave their animals behind.  Images of The Velveteen Rabbit, and Toy Story come to mind.  Will their toys become real as the Velveteen Rabbit did?  Will another child find it in their heart to love them and once again take them along on the adventures of childhood?  Or, will they find themselves in the bottom of a garbage heap, too old and worn to fix?

I just threw away one such toy, an old beloved one.  It was such a sad moment when my son looked down at the bear's old face at the bottom of the can, regretful, but understanding that he was too far gone to repair.  My heart broke a little as a dumped a pile of old, soggy coffee grounds over his smile.

The sadness is not about the toys or the stuffed animals, as we all know.  It's about our little ones growing up.  It's about wanting to preserve these magical childhood years.  The years when our children are safe within our realm and their adventures never take them anywhere that poses any real danger.  What comes next?  I don't even want to think about it right now.  For now, my boys are still young enough (or just naive enough) to play, to pretend, to live in this magical world where cotton, thread, and fluff come to life and become friends.

The Anchor giving Pokey a ride on his shoulders

Angry Birds Birthday Party

The Anchor is now five years old!  Over the years he has chosen some interesting birthday party themes.  We've had construction vehicles, purple monkeys, medieval times, and this year:  ANGRY BIRDS!  

Now this is one happy five year old!

Coloring Pages:

You can print Angry Bird coloring pages here:  http://www.cartoonjr.com/angry-birds-coloring-pages/  They make for a great time filler as you are waiting for guests to arrive.  Use them for a coloring contest.


 Take Home Craft:

 I was going to do this green pig paper plate craft:  http://kidsparties123.com/crafts/angry-birds-pig-puppet-craft/,  but I couldn't find green paper plates anywhere.  I was wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles of the Dollar Tree when a brainstorm hit.  Angry Bird cup/pencil holders!  I bought these plastic cups 6 for $1.00 in Angry Birds colors.  I used yellow foam for the beaks, black cardstock for the eyebrows, and large google eyes.  


"Who doesn't like google eyes?"  My sister asked me over the phone.  


Easy Cheesy!  The kids were very creative.  One used the eyebrow as a mustache and another used multiple eyes to make an Angry Bird alien.  

Happy "Birday" Banner and Bird Balloons:

I completed the banner while watching The movie "Not Without My Daughter."  Random, I know!  I just made the letters an enormous size on the computer, printed them, cut a bunch of circles out, glued them together, punched holes in them, threaded a long ribbon through each tiny little hole, and before I knew it Sally Field was telling her baby girl they were home as they gazed at the beautiful American Flag flapping in the breeze.


You can download the Angry Birds font for free here:  http://smashingfree.com/angry-birds-font-download/  The font is called "Feast of Flesh."  Kind of a gross name, but who cares, it was free.  


You can print the templates for the balloons and get lots of other cool ideas from this site:  http://www.thepartyanimal-blog.org/angry-birds-birthday-party-theme/.  


I kind of went crazy and stuck these cute faces here:

AND on the the goodie bags:

AND I even wore one on the front of my blue dress.  Too bad I didn't get a picture of that.


Games:  

Mr. Incredible had already made a bean bag toss and a ring toss game for a recent Cub Scout event, so I just Angry Bird-alized them to fit our party theme.  I got really good at drawing green pig faces.

Pin the beak on the bird:  

A classic birthday party game with an Angry Bird twist.

Slingshot:

What would an Angry Bird birthday party be without a giant slingshot?  I'm not sure, because we definitely had one at ours.  Don't even ask me how Mr. Incredible made it.  All I know is that rubber surgical tubing and a hard hat was involved.  


Fruit Kabobs:  

I used Angry Bird cupcake toppers to decorate these colorful fruit kabobs.  You can print some super cute ones for free here:  http://thebestgiftidea.blogspot.com/2011/09/angry-birds-printable-cupcake-topper.html  


Cake Time:  

I decided to go easy on myself with the cake this year, so I just used the Angry Birds game pieces that we already had and made a little scene on the cake.  (No multiple batches of colored fondant for me this year!)  I also used Angry Birds fruit snacks to give it a big more color.

Does your child have a birthday coming up?  Be sure to read  Ten Ways To Make Birthdays Special.  Because we know it's not about the party.  It's about making your child feel special, and giving thanks to the ONE who gave them life. 

The Gentleness Challenge

"and mom and dad can hardly wait 

for school to start again."  

This phrase from the famous Christmas song, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," is so true for many parents.  When the kids are at school there's some quiet, there's some time to think and get things done.  There's a small break from parenting.  

I feel like I need a break.

Tonight my son was not obeying.  I told him it was time to stop playing.  He didn't.  I told him to give me the toy he was playing with.  He wouldn't.  When I reached to take it from him he pulled it away.  Then I got angry and yelled.  He finally gave it to me, but tears welled up in his eyes.  I knew he wasn't crying because he was sad about being disobedient.  He was crying because I had hurt his feelings.  


Yes, I definitely need a break!  But that's not going to happen, because whether or not school starts tomorrow, the kids aren't going anywhere.  So, from somewhere, I have to find what it takes.  Along with a nice cup of hot tea, I need love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness...  hey this is starting to sound a lot like Galatians 5: 22.  Which is exactly what I need.  I need the characteristics that come only from God's Spirit, God's Word, working in me.  That is why I'm taking The Gentleness Challenge.  I want to focus on being a consistently gentle mom.  I want to teach gently, discipline gently, and in every way show gentleness to my kids, all the time.    


"It is the kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance,"  (Romans 2:4).  I want my kindness to lead my kids to repentance.  Not my anger!  And how can I teach my son to control his temper when he sees me lose my own?  


If you want to join me in seeking God's wisdom to become a more consistently gentle mom consider joining me in taking this Gentleness Challenge.  Click on the picture below to check it out.

Parents, Please Protect Your Progeny: Part III

Mike Plumadore "bludgeoned a 9-year-old Indiana girl to death with a brick then dismembered her, hiding her head, hands and feet at a home where he was staying and dumping the rest of her remains nearby, police said Tuesday."  You can read the whole story here... http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2011-12-27/indiana-babysitter-girl-death/52241628/1?csp=ip

Guess what folks.  He was her BABYSITTER!!!

There are so many questions here.  Why couldn't her mom take care of her kids by herself?  She was recovering from the flu, not brain surgery!  I know it's miserable to have the flu and have to take care of kids, but in between puking and moaning on the couch you just bring out the cereal and milk and put in movies for them to watch all day.  When they get bored of that you drag yourself to another room where you lay on the floor while they do puzzles and play games.  Finally, you take a shower and muster up enough energy to get some PB & J made for dinner.  Then you get them in bed early so you can finally down the Nyquil and collapse!

Many of us are lucky enough to have a grandma or close girl friend who can take the kids for a few hours so you can chug down the medicine and get some rest.  But even if you have to do it all by yourself you push through and make do.  That's what parents do.

I'll tell you what moms DON'T do.  They don't send their three little girls for a whole week to live with an adult male that has a criminal record who lives in a trashy neighborhood that's three-fourths registered sex offenders.  I don't care if he so tenderly took care of your ailing father.  I don't care if you've known him for three years, or even all your life.  I don't care if he is a trusted family friend.  That's the whole point.  You trusted him!

The second you find yourself trusting someone with your kids is the second you should start being suspicious!!  

Let this be a lesson to all of us.  Please protect your children at all cost.

Parents, Please Protect Your Progeny Part II: Car Seats

We are currently planning a trip which will involve renting a car and driving in two different states.  This brought up the questions:  "Should we rent a car seat or bring our own?" and, "What are the state's seat belt laws anyway?"  Which made me realize... I wasn't even sure of my own state's laws.  We just kind of get into a routine of buckling up the same way each time.  Meanwhile, our kids keep growing and before we know it, they're ready to move on to a different kind of seat.    


It's very easy to find the laws regarding safety restraints just by searching for the key words:  "seat belt laws [your state name]."  This will give you the most detailed information for your state.  If you're interested in seeing the laws in each state together on the same chart you can go to this website: http://www.iihs.org/laws/childrestraint.aspx.  This is handy especially if you're going to be traveling by car through different states.  


The next thing to consider is if you are using your car seats correctly.  You may have your child buckled up, but if it's not done properly you may be doing more harm than good.  This website, www.safekids.org, lists a whole lot of detailed safety tips to consider when setting up and using child restraint seats.  For example:  Did you know that car seats have an expiration date?  My parents were using a car seat that had been expired for a few years already.  Being that they would simply pile my sisters and me into the back seat of our VW Bug with nothing to stop us from flying out the front window save for the fact that we were packed in as tight as sardines-- it didn't occur to them that a car seat would have an expiration date.  There may be some safety tips you are not aware of or that you just need some reminders of.  So please take some time to review these tips and your seat's manual before the next time you buckle up your precious and fragile cargo. 

Parents, Please Protect your Progeny!

Sandusky, Judge William Adams, Joshua Robey, Williams, Schatz, and Paddock, Biryukova   

With all of the recent coverage in the news on child abuse, neglect, molestation, rape, torture, and murder of children, (click on the names above to read the articles) I felt it necessary to plea with all parents everywhere, "Please!  Protect your children!"  Now, I know that even the most diligent of parents may not be able to protect their children in absolutely every circumstance, but most of these cases of abuse could have been prevented had the parents been more watchful and alert.  I also detest the fact that many of these cases of abuse were at the hands of these poor children's own parents.  The very people whose job it is to love, cherish, protect, and nurture them.  I get so angry that I am completely at a loss for words when I think of these atrocities.

However, I believe that the vast majority of parents truly love their children and want to protect them.  So then, why are so many kids being abused every single day under the supposed watchful eyes of their protective parents?  For example, why would a parent ever think it would be O.K. for their young boy to have a "sleep over" at a grown man's house?  Why would it ever be O.K. to leave your two year old sleeping in a car on the side of the road?  Why would it ever be O.K. to let your child "work out and shower" alone with an adult?   Why would it ever be O.K. to let your loser boyfriend who is cheating on you babysit your tiny little baby?  Why would it ever be O.K. to starve your child and beat them for hours pausing only for prayer?   The answer is simple:  IT IS NEVER, NEVER, NEVER O.K.!  

It must come down to one of these:

1.  The parent is truly ignorant about how to adequately protect their child.

2.  The parent is selfish or neglectful and doesn't really care about their child's well being.

3.  The parent is a victim themselves.  (sorry, that is not a valid excuse in my opinion)

4.  The parent is actively participating in the abuse, or passively allowing it to continue.

OR...5.  Child abuse has occurred as a result of circumstances out of the parent's control.

If you are a parent, it is your job to protect your child.  It's not the school's job, or the church's job.  It's not the Boy Scout leader, or the coach's job, or your daycare provider's job, or anyone else's job.  It is YOUR job!  Parents, let's take our jobs seriously.  

So whom are we to protect our children against.  In the case of sex abuse, let's look at these statistics: 

"-- Men perpetrate most sexual abuse and sex crimes.

-- Sex offenders against children tend to be juveniles or young adults under the age of 30.

--  Most sexual abuse and sex crimes are committed by people who know the victims. Acquaintances are most often the perpetrators, followed by family members and then strangers."  

(click HERE if you would like to check the sources for these statements.)

Therefore, if you wanted to put a face to this person: 

He, is under the age of 30, and you know him well.  

But perpetrators are by no means limited to this description!  I say be suspicious of everyone!  Let's not be afraid of the stranger, or the person who just looks creepy.  (OK, be suspicious of them too.) But think about it... if you suspect them, then you will not even give them the chance to harm your child.  The people you should be suspicious of are the ones you know and trust!  The ones that have access to your children.  The ones that are "good" with kids, and "like" kids.  The ones that pay special attention to your little angels, or who want to "help" your difficult children because they "care" about them.  Be suspicious of the people you have become comfortable with.  Forget "Stranger Danger." 

"People seem more willing to accept a sinister, unknown individual or “stranger” from a different location or father/stepfather from a different socioeconomic background as a child molester than a clergy member, next-door neighbor, law-enforcementofficer, pediatrician, teacher, coach, or vol- unteer. Acquaintance molesters often gain access to children through youth-serving organizations. The acquaintance molester, by definition, is one of us. He is not simply an anonymous, external threat. He cannot be identified by physical description and, often, not even by “bad” character traits. Without specialized training or experience and an objective perspective, he cannot easily be distinguished from others." from:  "Child Molesters: A Behavioral Analysis"  Kenneth V. Lanning Former Supervisory Special Agent Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)  www.missingkids.com

Consider how a lion captures it's prey:

 "Lions are opportunist hunters...  [They] will usually get up close to the prey before charging. In about 10% of kills, the prey is ambushed. The lion's final charge is usually made from as close as 10 metres, seldom exceeding 20 metres."   (source) 

You see, predators don't usually announce their intentions.  They creep in unnoticed, they get close enough to strike, and when there is an opportunity, they charge.  The good news is this:  "Lions ...have been known to back down when the prey species stands its ground. A carefully placed kick from a zebra to a lion's face can break a jaw or remove an eye." (source) "Not only is a lone animal easier to bring down than one that is in a herd, but a running animal poses less of a threat than one that is poised to fight." (source)

Not only do we need to protect our children from these wolves in sheeps' clothing, but we also need to teach our children how to protect themselves.  I recommend Protecting the Gift, by Gavin De Becker.  It is a must read for all parents!  It's about keeping your children safe, teaching your children to keep themselves safe, and knowing the difference between real fear and paranoia.  

Watch this video:

My question now is this:  Why are we as parents acting like a bunch of stupid zebras turning our backs and running while our young ones are being hunted down and eaten alive?  I, for one, am sick of it!  I will do everything in my power to make sure my boys, or any other child in my life, do not become a victim of any perpetrator of abuse.  I will teach my boys how to realistically keep themselves from dangerous people.  I will not teach them "stranger danger" because there may come a time when the stranger is the very person they need to go to for help.  I will value my child's safety far above my fear of offending any "nice" person who wants to spend time with my children alone.  Parents, grandparents, foster parents, or anyone with children in your life, will you join me in diligently safeguarding our precious little ones?